Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Traveling with Kids: 0/10 Do NOT Recommend!

My babies have been on 8 flights in their lives and they are only 1 & 2.

If you have ever traveled with kids at all, you know I am not saying this as a 'flex', but truly I am in disbelief that I have dragged these little guys across the country with me that many times. 

I remember the year before I started having kids, my goal to myself was to travel more and when I got pregnant only a few months later I thought that dream was over. Fast forward to 2023 and these guys are actually getting easier to travel with. 

Now, don't get me wrong, the title is very true. I do not recommend traveling with kids. Unless you enjoy dirty looks, stains everywhere, food everywhere, changing diapers mid-flight, and have 0 plans on sleeping the entire time, then maybe you would enjoy it!

The only benefit I can take from it is that I love to see their little faces looking at the window when we take off and land. This last time especially. Their eyes lit up at all the lights on all the buildings and I just loved that.

Some recommendations I can give for flying with kids:

  1. There are no rules on travel days. Give them all the screen time, snacks, food, and juice they desire. Be careful with juice though, if your flight is long because you will be changing that diaper in the air. Trust me.
  2. Download their shows to ALL your devices/tablets. All flights do not have wifi and even if your flight does, it will be your luck that something won't connect. I cannot stress this enough! Download! Those! Shows!
  3. Night time flights are the best I have found when traveling with younger kids. It's already their bedtime, so they are more relaxed and not trying to get out the seat every 3 seconds. If you get them comfy enough they will go to sleep and give you some peace and quiet, which is truly the only goal! Night time flights are just it for me!
  4. Bring their carseat for the plane ride. Now, I forgot this on my last flight and was kicking myself the whole way. The carseat was a game changer. It will seem like a lot to lug around the airport, but you will reap the benefits when you get a few hours of your child entertaining theirselves in THEIR seat.
  5. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes TSA and flight attendants offer help, but other times they don't. Do not be afraid to ask them for assistance if needed, if you see they are not busy. If you are traveling with more than 1 child by yourself, you will need some assistance at some point.
That's all that I can think of, but I will add more if any come to me. Now, after my recommendations, will I still travel with my kids? Absolutely. Will it be awful....possibly. Will I make that the reason that I don't travel with them again? Nope. In my head I am setting the foundation for some well traveled young men and THAT makes it a little worth it to me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

❤ Valentine's Day Feels ❤

It's Love Day and I am a girl that loves LOVE !

    Valentine's Day has always been a day that I looked forward to and although I had my usual excitement, it also feels a little different this year.

    I remember being in relationships where it meant so much to celebrate Valentine's Day in a big way, but now as I write this I am happily waiting on Anthony to get home so we can split some crab legs and watch movies before bed. My favorite meal and my favorite man, what more could a girl ask for!

    I remember talking to my mom one day in the beginning of our marriage and I told her my life felt boring. I wasn't unhappy, but it just felt like there should be more action going on (or dare I say...drama.) Her exact words were, "Girl, you better enjoy this boring," and I completely get it now.

    The action I was missing was drama because that's all I was used to. Valentine's Day seemed so much more important, when my partner was giving me soooo much less. I was using Valentine's Day to almost 'validate' those relationships, even though deep down I knew those men were trash!! The things I used to literally cry for, I have and then some and can I just say I looooove that for me!

    Wising everyone the love they desire today and everyday! Because being loved properly is the gift that keeps on giving.

Happy Love Day Y'all 💗

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Therapy me, please!

Therapy me, pleaseeeeee!

    Ya girl, has set up a consultation for therapy! I am smiling as I am writing this because it has taken me so long to find one! I had to come with an update from the last time we chatted about this in 'Black Doctor me, please!' My therapist is black and all her specialties seem to be all my problems, so a match made in heaven to me!

    I am so excited to work on myself. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I look forward to some personal growth. After getting married and having kids, issues from childhood started creeping up and I want to dig into that. For example, I have MAJOR abandonment issues. When I first got married, any argument we got into, I thought Anthony was going to leave me, (even the smallest thing.) Now why? I have no idea, no one has ever abandoned me! I didn't know where that came from. So, I am looking forward to getting to the bottom of that in therapy and so much more!

    If you are thinking about getting a therapist, start taking the steps here! This therapist may not work out for me, but then I will go onto finding the next. The fact that I am getting the ball rolling on something for myself makes me feel amazing, no matter how selfish that sounds. I gave almost 3 years to being home with my babies, its time for me to take care of me!

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Saturday, February 4, 2023

Friends = ones we can depend on

Friendship is an complex thing. It can be absolutely beautiful, but losing it can almost hurt you as much as a breakup. Women friendships can especially.

    I have never been a friend group type of girl, so I never felt like I had 'a lot' of friends. I would always leave each phase of life with one or two good ones and that was enough for me. It wasn't until we moved to Washington that I realized how important my friendships were to me. It took me a while to make friends over here, so I really relied on my friends back home to keep me sane. I had two under two, no job, a husband that was newly in the army and hardly home, and postpartum depression. It was ROUGH.

    I needed adult interaction bad and it seemed like the only way to get some here was to post on a random army wife Facebook group page....and I was not about to do that!! My friends back home became my rocks and honestly got me through those days. Staying on the phone with me while my kids were screaming in the background, letting me cry about feeling like I was doing nothing with my life, allowing me the space to complain about being a stay at home mom and not make me feel guilty. My friends were really there for me and that stuck with me.

    I am far from a perfect friend, but I try my best to show up for my friends. It is easy to think a friendship is solidified because of years, but more I am realizing is friendships need to be nurtured almost as much as relationships. Everyone is busy, but showing up even when it's not easy is the true definition of friendship to me.

& I am lucky to have a couple of the good ones.

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