Friday, March 31, 2023

Depression is a b!+ch

Depression is a bitch.

It's something I have experienced since I was in grade school, but never ACTUALLY dealt with because I always seemed to pull myself out of it. This time has been a little challenging.

With so much changing in my life it's hard to have any sense of normalcy. I am in a long distance marriage that I didn't ask for and I am suddenly solely taking care of two kids with a new job. I had 10 days to wrap my head around the fact that I was no longer a stay at home mom and now, I see my kids for a couple hours a day. I am still running my business, but honestly it feels like it's running me half the time. So as always, life is L I F E - I N G and I am just trying to keep up!

I know I say this time and time again, but truly that's what this blog is about. The shitty life of an almost 30 year old. Could I look at all this positively? Sure. Do I feel like being positive patty right now? Honestly no.

Sometimes I wake up excited about this new job opportunity. It's the exact situation I have been looking for and gives me a sense of stability that I have yet to find with my business. The entrepreneur life was fun and exactly what I needed when my boys were first born. It allowed me to stay home with them and still bring in income, but it was also a bit unstable. Invoices being paid late or not at all, zillions of consultations with little to no conversion, and a lot of imposter syndrome. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I am very proud of my business! Since 4 months in I have been able to stay in the green and continue to grow, but I went into this year knowing that my new yearning was for stability, so that's exactly what I went after. 

So, for now your girl is just finding her way in this new 9-5 life, finding new ways to run my business more efficiently, and desperately trying to find some good in my new normal.

(I'm hoping these blogs get less whinny in April.)

Pray for me y'all!!

Friday, March 17, 2023

Long time, no....type?

Hey y'all!

Long time, no....type?

Life has been throwing hands at me these days and I am DOWN bad!

This is me creeping out of a bit of dark place to say hello!

I opened up to my best friend about how I was feeling and she responded, "I never know when you're going through something because you can literally be walking through hell, and you will still laugh."

Some might feel like that's a strength, but the more I sit with myself I realize that's just how I brush things off without really dealing with them.

I have been dealing with a lot since coming back home. More on that in the next posts though.

This post was just a hello and how are you to my couple of subscribers who probably wondered where I was at for the past month. 

I am alive, but trying to find my way back to really living again.🤍🤍

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